A NEW DAY DAWNS OVER JURMALA!
The Past!
Last installment had us having spent our first day and sleeping overnight with family at the old homestead in Sloka.
I didn't get much sleep, far too excited and it was to be an early start as we had plans to see some of the more important personal historical sights and remember those that went before us.
It was so much fun to have breakfast with every one and just savouring my last moments that I thought would be my last.
Grandmum had come alive while here and the change in her since being here was incredible. Quite unnerving actually as I knew her only one way and here she was being the opposite to that. Don't get me wrong here, she was a happy person who could have a laugh. But she had always been very impatient when it came to us children and expected all children to be quite at all times, sit still and behave with a birch branch close by to ensure that they were dutiful. She never tolerated children very well and made no excuses for that either. This may explain why she only had one and luckily for her she had Mum who was one of the good ones.
Grandmum was more self reliant whereas Mum was all about the family. Grandmum did look after her daughter that was for sure, but she was able to disconnect more easily than Mum ever could have. For example when Grandmum and Mum arrived in Western Australia by ship in 1949 to their new world to settle after their 'duty' was done to the Australian Government of working for 2 whole years in some god forsaken place to end up in the lower end of Western Australia. After a while Grandmum up and left to go and live in Melbourne and left Mum behind after experiencing more tragedy (which I will elaborate on later) and 3 very young children and a second husband. Maybe through writing about that time I will understand why Grandmum did that back then. Again, I suspect it was economics that drove her to leave alone to live on the other side of Australia to resettle in Melbourne.
Now back to us in 1976 and Jurmala. We set out for the day with the first stop being the local cemetery to see my forebears with all the usual photos standing by said graves. I did notice that the cemeteries were set out like parklands with benches every so often to sit and think or take a breather. We went to several and would have to again look at my Trip dairy to remember who they were. I am sure they were my Great Grandparents and Great-Great Grandparents.
It was the one and only time Grandmum opened up about her childhood and what a strict time she had had. She was the youngest of 6 with 5 older brothers. She told me that her Great Grandmum was very stern and very tough and never happy. The photos certainly attest to that. Families lived together with all generations playing a part in the care of the family and so Grandparents and Great Grandparents had an influence on their grandchildren/great grandchildren. Grandmum's Great Great Grandmum my Great Great Great Grandmum happened to be jolly and loving and always giving hugs. A vast contrast. What happened to make her Great Grandmum my Great Great Grandmum such a grouch. I suspect it was more than likely to have to do with economics as far as I can see. Maybe all the burden was on her shoulders. I will have to search for my Mum's notes as I am sure she wrote some anecdotal stories somewhere about back then.
How sad for my Grandmum that she had such a harsh and strict upbringing. She deserved better. This might explain that she never said 'I Love You' to Mum or us ever that I can remember and my one older sister by now living in another state and on one of her yearly visits (the nice one) and I asked her why she never said it when Grandmum was in her 70s.
She just grumbled that you should just know and why should I say something that is obvious.
So this sister and I just started saying 'I Love You' to Mum and Grandmum and each other at any given opportunity. Eventually, near the end of Grandmum's life she did start to say 'I Love You'. Only took us over 20 years of encouragement to hear her start. But she did end up saying 'I Love You' to her one and only child, our Mum. Some habits are hard to break, but they can be broken if you try hard enough.
Mum did everything for her Mum. She was a good daughter and Grandmum ended up being such a grouch to her. Very demanding. My Grandmum also ended up being a trouble maker and stirrer to create drama for her own entertainment. A whole other story for another time.
Mum did create a family tree, which I have somewhere from her side of the family.
I did write down some of the family tree from my Dad's side, but pretty sure a cousin has created a family tree from that side of the family so will have to check that out some day soon. I can only go back so far.
I thought and was led to believe that most of the documents were destroyed during the last war due to bombings and fire. Apparently, according to a latvian friend of mine tells me only recently that this is not the case. I will have to find out and allow some time when I do get to visit Riga again for my own personal research. It is nice to know where one has come from and see how far down the line you can go.
I have steered to far from my next day in Jurmala.
After visiting and placing flowers and taking photos at the various grave sites we then went to the most important spots like Mum's Primary School, which she attended in the mornings as the school was conducted in 2 shifts morning and afternoon.
We went to other family homes nearby and I got to see where Grandmum worked as a Hairdresser. I have her hair implements to this day. The Tongs were heated up by placing them on the stove or fire place to create curls and are from the previous century (late 1800s). I remember my Grandmum using these tongs on us three when we were little. Whereas Mum used rags to create ringlets or just very curly for special occasions. These are the few things she managed to keep with her after losing everything during the war. They meant a possibility at earning a living. A trade that could help them out. But Grandmum usually ended up working in sausage factories and such as you could always go home with food in your hair!
Allow me to explain. Later on when I tell the story of Mum and Grandmum fleeing Latvija just as WWII broke out, but in the meantime to just impart this one part of that time. Grandmum worked throughout those years at various places, one being a sausage factory. Grandmum would have her hair up with the then scarf look. By the end of her shift it would take on a whole new look so to speak. She would periodically tuck pieces of sausage in the folds of the scarf and have a gorgeous roll all the way round the head by the end of her shift! Voila! Dinner that night. You did what you had to to survive. They starved many a day, but some days they got lucky. Will elaborate more when I get to that part of Mum's stories.
Seeing Mum's childhood places and their daily life gave me an insight to both of them especially my Mum that I would otherwise have never had the opportunity to know about. It was clear to me that they both clearly loved their homeland and that the strain of the fact that they could never go back as planned had turned their world up-side-down. Like so many millions. But what amazing resilient women they were to somehow pick themselves up and go forth to create something out of nothing.
It would have felt like walking into the abyss. The complete unknown. To end up on the other side of the world. Who would have thought that was going to happen. Never in their minds would they have imagined what was to come.
That day had us going to long cherished places for my Mum. I just watched on how much my Mum filled to the brim with pure joy. As for me I couldn't believe I got to be with her at these places.
There are places that when you stand there you can feel the energy from years before. You can feel when there has been happiness or sadness at these places. The magnificence of, for example, a massive waterfall or the creation of the Grand Canyon, does have a profound effect on you when you are there. This happened to me time and time again. And none more than at Bralu Kapi, the Cemetery in Riga's center where my Dad's Father worked as a Stonemason and Caretaker along with his brother-in-law and now buried. Brother-in-law is buried in Adelaide.
That day felt more regimented as we were running in and out of the car so often that it made my head spin. We had a deadline that we had to make and also didn't want to leave anything off Mum's list either. I am sure we got all of what we intended to do and see done and back on time to report in.
Now I was happy and unhappy.
I was happy to have seen my family home in Jurmala, but conflicted that I had to now leave it behind.
I changed from yearning the experience of that family home to the bittersweet longing to freely visit our family home from now on.
Oppression and occupation of any kind by any one people's or governments suck big time as it is not for the greater good and safety and it is ultimately only for total control and power over another. This is going on right now in many countries with some constantly in the news and others that seem to matter little to the rest of the world. Shame on us for allowing this practice to continue. I am but one voice. But I can at least state I think it is wrong to oppress another for your own gain. Simple.
After our visit I found it hard to grapple with what was going on and why did England 'give' certain countries all those years back that were free and independent prior to the war to another country in an agreement that they were not ever involved in that decision. I just couldn't and still don't understand that. I just got so frustrated about the fact that I had to leave my wonderful family behind to be 'stuck' in such oppression and hardship with no prospects to be free. I couldn't do anything about it. But it didn't stop me from questioning it.
It was after this visit that we had to go on one of the organised sightseeing tours by Intourist to the Open Air Museum that to my understanding had been spruced up recently.
We all got there and we were walking around this huge massive place with all the old style homes with all sorts within each of them, say all things made of pottery etc. It was set out to reflect what would have been centuries before. A time capsule of what life was like living in Latvija. All very interesting, but somehow my Mum and Grandmum disappeared at some stage. I was attentive to keep them within sight, but how they just disappeared I have no idea. After trying to find them I started to worry as I could not find them.
In the meantime, I noticed these guys following me, which now really made me scared. I tried to keep with people, but there were not many people there and we were more than likely the only group there apart from the people working within the museum. Eventually these guys approached me and asked where were my Mum and Grandmum. I had no idea and told them so and said they must be somewhere in the massive museum. They grilled me some more and I just said go look for them yourselves as I know and I will bump into them somewhere if not then at the designated time we were given to meet back at the start to leave. They were not happy and never let me out of their sight. Due to this I just couldn't concentrate on the museum, which for me became a complete washout and waste of time. I did cheekily ask one of them to take my photo with the other helping me in one of the 'stocks' that I saw. I am sure they thought I was mad. I may as well make use of them being that they were shadowing me and they couldn't say no knowing full well I knew they were following me. Quite farcical really.
Here's me running around this huge open air museum not knowing where the hell my Mum and Grandmum were and at the same time being followed by what was more than likely KGB of some kind and becoming more and more worried by the minute and not being able to show it due to these idiots following so I kept pretending I was OK and enjoying myself. Clearly I wasn't.
I was freaking out. Where had they gone? What happened? If these guys are following me then that means they aren't with the authorities or the bloody tour, so with whom then? Were they still in the museum? I doubted that?
Then I got mad that Mum had left me in the lurch like this and not telling me. Then I got even more worried as to maybe they were actually gone? It was more than I could bare and the most god awful experience and several hours I have ever spent. Plus I was all on my own. What to do. So I just went on pretending all was normal. I discovered a saying in my next trip overseas and that was Snafu - meaning colourfully 'Situation Normal All F***** Up'. No fun at all for me I am afraid to report as there was no-one else in that museum that day for me to try and latch onto to make time go faster. And it dragged. When one worries it is amazing how much time does drags.
Finally made my way to the meeting spot with several from the group already there. And low and behold there was my Mum and Grandmum all innocent and smiling. I was so angry that I just let fly at them both as to where were they and I couldn't find them and Mum was trying to hush me as these guys were not far from us just watching on. I was seething and relieved at the same time and tried to contain myself. But I certainly was not a happy camper.
The men approached us and asked Mum and Grandmum where had they been. Mum said here at the start as Grandmum was not feeling well. By the way Grandmum was fit as a fiddle and probably could outrun me. I just kept silent. Mum asked what was the problem. The men said that it was not a good idea to leave the premises while on the tour and best to stay with the group for their own safety. Yeah yeah yeah tell us some more rubbish. Mum kept to her story and eventually the guys advised her that they were concerned for everyone's welfare and next time let someone know if one was not feeling well. Now remember, I was not well on our trip to Sigulda. I didn't tell anyone and it didn't seem to matter. I do think they must have gotten wind of what Mum was up to somehow, as there are 'ears' everywhere and came to stop this from happening. All very weird and for me all extremely scary.
It was later that Mum told me that a few long time friends and distant family met them at the gate and they went to a home nearby. Gee they took a risk. I screamed at Mum to never ever do that to me again without telling me. I was so pissed off at her. She thought it best to keep me in the dark. She got the drift eventually that she had in fact put me in a very difficult position. It never occurred to her that I was placed in jeopardy. These guys could have taken me away to be held at who knows where for who knows how long. We just got lucky. She never did it again on that trip thankfully. I could see why she kept me in the dark, but wished she hadn't as the experience upset me for quite sometime and affected the rest of my stay, which thankfully was at the later end of the 10 days.
Our hotel room over looked the gardens and in the distance I could just see the Statue of Freedom. The lift was so tiny and I was amazed at the kinds of people who bothered to visit Latvija. I always talked to whoever as the lift was rather slow. The dining room was very grand for breakfast, but I so loved it's old world charm.
Our stay in Latvija was coming to a close and the closer it came the sadder I was. I was surprised at how much this all affected me. I had so much going on in my head. It was at this time I started to miss everyone back home and my luggage. Where the hell was it. I had by now been wearing and rotating the same clothes for 2 weeks now with extreme pre-planning to wash and dry mainly my jeans, which I relied on totally.
The final days are a blur to me now as they were filled with people and more people. However, I do remember the last day being particularly sad. Everyone showed up at the Hotel to say goodbye with tears and laughter flowing and you guessed it flowers. Even though we couldn't take them didn't seem to matter. Us Latvian's love our flowers. That and singing. We sing ourselves out of problems and troubled times.
I remember Rozite and how happy she was about my present to her. I remember being torn about leaving my family behind. Just so incredibly sad that I am tearing up now just thinking and remembering back to that moment in time.
I don't regret going as I would have regretted more if I hadn't. Look at how much I would have missed out on. These last few days had been amazing and opened my eyes, mind and heart in so many ways. This is where I got that life was to be lived and not let slip by. This is also where I understood you had to hold true to who you were and stand by what you believe. This is where I got to get who my Mum was and what made her tick. This is where I got to know this is who I am.
I left as a person in one way and now coming home as another improved me. The trip itself was not the catalyst. It was the homecoming that was.
A little bit of me is always there and has been ever since.
We left to loads of waving of arms and song and made our way to the sad and forelorn looking Riga Airport to be greeted by those for whom the Airport was more convenient. This was gut wrenching for me as I had just gone through one lot of tearful goodbyes and now to go through it all again was more than I could take. But they had made the effort and it was the least I could do, but join in. Life after all is far too short to be selfish.
Finally, we board and all of the group were quite and all reflecting their time with obvious sadness and sorrow. We were on our way to Kiev, but it may as well have been Timbuktu for all we cared at that moment.
We got to Kiev and I certainly wasn't in the mood to 'tour'. Fortunately, we had the night to ourselves. The next day we were taken around the sights of Kiev, which I have to say here and now is one of the most beautiful cities I have been to. So lush and so green and very very rich in their culture. Our tour guide's from Russia always had American accents which I found to be hilarious and an oxymoron all at the same time. Here they were mortal enemies with a certain other country and yet sounding like them. Maybe it's just me, but I could see the funny side in this.
We had the day filled with this, that and the other with Ice Ballet that night. I thinknow, whoever organised this itinerary was very wise to have us so busy the day after leaving the Baltic States. Thanks to the clever Palanga staff member back in Sydney who did just that. Keep us busy.
I will leave you here at the start of our time in Kiev to impartl more in the next installment.
All will be revealed.
No comments:
Post a Comment